Today is Saturday and not Thursday, but it's time for another installment of #ThemeThursday! In my defence, I did write this on Thursday, but just didn't have time to type it up until this morning!
So here it is...I present to you, a post on the theme of "Equal"
The word "equal" is a term that comes up on almost a daily basis. The word itself is not necessarily used, but the theme will come up, or another word or term meaning the same thing will be used...either way, there is a lot of talk about equality. Perhaps it's chatter about equal rights, pay equality or gender equality. Or maybe it's referenced in a mathematical sense...money, a recipe, store inventory. In other words, it can describe amounts or things or actions that are the same, or it can be used as a verb "to equal"...one plus two equals three.
Anyone that knows me knows I am NOT a math person, so in my daily life, the word "equal" tends to be used more when talking about things that are the same.
As a member of a family farming business, there is A LOT of talk about "equal" as we move through the process of planning for the future of the farm and the generations that will assume responsibility of the business. There are siblings that are active participants in the day-to-day operation, and there are some that have chosen careers away from the farm. The internal struggle that all farming parents have in a situation like this when it is time to integrate the next generation is: "How do we make sure we are fair to all of our kids?" Chances are, over the years ALL of the kids contributed to the farm in some capacity even if they eventually chose a career elsewhere.
While we are certainly not the parents in this particular situation, we are the next generation and see first-hand the struggle his parents go through to ensure the farm carries on, but that everyone is happy! Carm and I have had the opportunity to attend a number of presentations and workshops aimed at helping to ease the transition from one generation to the next. We have learned lots of different tips, techniques, theories and strategies, but there is one statement we heard that absolutely stands out in my mind. It really resonated...not because of the roles Carm and I play in the delicate web of family and business, but because it was a statement so simple and logical that I immediately began to think about how this statement can be applied to almost anything in my life.
"There is a big difference between "equal" and "fair"; you don't have to be equal to be fair."
Let that sink in for a minute...
The speaker was using this in reference to farm succession planning, but like I mentioned, it really jumped out at me because there are SO many situations where we as humans use "equal" and "fair" interchangeably when we shouldn't.
Think about a marriage. A husband and wife are often referred to as equals. In terms of rights and human beings deserving of love and mutual respect from one another, this is ABSOLUTELY true! But, when it comes to the day-to-day tasks and responsibilities that occur in the home they have built together, it is sometimes next to impossible to split all of the responsibilities down the centre equally.
As newlyweds, this was certainly something we struggled with in the beginning. Why should I have to do the dishes after I cooked the meal every time? He should do them half the time! I learned rather quickly that was NOT going to happen...and it's a good thing...otherwise our house may have started to look like one of those disgusting houses you see on the show "Hoarders". Instead of battling over whose turn it was to take the garbage out or load the dishwasher, we decided I would look after the majority of the household chores and he would be in charge of the garbage and recycling and maintaining our outdoor furnace.
If you write our chore lists out on paper, it is clearly not an EQUAL division of tasks based on quantity, but for us, it is fair...that furnace is a 2-3 times per day job in the winter and it doesn't matter if it's -1 or -31, he has to be out there chopping wood in a snowstorm like he's Paul fricken Bunyon! I'll take washing dishes or scrubbing floors in the warm house over that any day! I should also note that we do help each other out when needed! Carm does help around the house when I need him and I will often collect the garbage for him to take out or whatever he needs help with.
Parenting is another instance where I have learned the fair vs equal battle is fought on a daily basis. If I had a penny for every time one of my parents told me "life's not fair" when I was growing up, I would be filthy rich! As a kid, I can remember whining about my sisters getting something I didn't or a friend going somewhere I wanted to go...when I was told "no," I would immediately follow it up with a "but mom! That's not fair!!"...sometimes with tears, and sometimes not. Looking back at being told "Well, life's not fair sometimes" I now believe the statement should be: "Well, life's not always equal" You could also go so far as to add ", but it's usually fair" to the end. I realize that due to poverty or other unfortunate circumstances this may not be the case for some people, but in mine it was. So I didn't get to go to a particular party...I did get to go to lots of other ones. All of our friends got to go to Disney World and we didn't, but we got to go to lots of other cool places instead. Our parents didn't buy us every single thing we opened our mouths for, but in turn, we learned to appreciate what we had and the value of money and earning something...FAIR trades I would say! Besides, outside of necessities like food, water and shelter, if every person, couple or family did all of the same things or had all of the exact same items and experiences, the world would be a pretty boring place.
Now that both our kidlets are old enough to verbalize their displeasure about things, we have started to hear the familiar "But that's not fair!" I have caught myself on more than one occasion channeling my inner Sheryl and John, responding with the familiar "well, sometimes life is not fair!"
They are maybe still a little young to understand the difference between equal and fair (let's be honest, a three year old only knows that his bowl has less ice cream than daddy's and THAT is the end of the world...who cares if it is fair!), but perhaps we will have to work on that with them when they are a little older!
"Equal" and "Fair" - two words constantly used interchangeably that really mean two different things. When you keep in mind the difference between the two, it's amazing how much your perspective and attitude can change!
Remember: "There's a big difference between equal and fair; you don't have to be equal to be fair!"
Until next time!
1/9/14 – equal
1/16/14 – arctic
1/23/14 – bottle
1/30/14 – ice cream
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| Master C undoubtedly thinking "Life's not fair" |
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