So...Theme Thursday Week #1...Theme = ONE
When I think about the word ONE, what comes to mind is something that worries me as a parent; especially now that Miss M has started school and the situations I fear are not so far away.
You see, I am a competitive person...I like to win, I like to be #1. "If you ain't first, you're last' - Thank you Ricky Bobby for summing it up so eloquently!
As a kid, I was on sports teams, in choirs, dance, 4-H and speech competitions, and I worked my butt off in school. Fun fact: I actually received not one, but TWO 100% grades on my grade nine report card...what?! Who does that?! The point is I was a perfectionist to a fault and often was way harder on myself than necessary...I still am. Nothing makes me more disappointed than opening our magazine fresh of the press and my eyes falling on a stupid, little spelling or grammar mistake...UGH!! Or, how about when my rec league slo-pitch team gets smoked in a game...again...COME on! If only I had read that article 101 times instead of 100, and if I had just hit 3 grand slam home runs - the magazine would have been perfect and we would've won the game.
The truth is, I could have read that article 200 times and I still may not have caught that silly error. I stared at it for HOURS as I wrote it, then I proofread it multiple times, then I had several other people proofread it and still nobody caught it. And the ball game? Who do I think I am? Even Jose Bautista doesn't hit multiple grand slams in a game!
As a kid, I'll admit, I sometimes cried if I didn't win something. Not always, and I don't recall ever making a scene about it, but I liked to win and when I didn't, there were sometimes tears; especially in the cutthroat world of 4-H dairy shows. If I was beat by someone I deemed worthy, then I was happy to be second or third or even just in the top ten if it was a big enough show. But, if someone beat me that "shouldn't," then I took it personally. Same goes for singing, dancing, speaking or any other individual competition.
"So what?" you say...what's the big deal?
The issue is that essentially, I married the male version of myself when it comes to winning and doing well at things. Now, if you know my husband, you'll know that chances are he would never have cried about not winning something, but he was certainly NOT happy with himself. His mom loves to tell the stories of Carman's rise to goalie superstardom (the Paris Beer League IS pretty much the NHL). Like myself, he was THAT kid. He spent hours and hours and hours standing in net and taking shots from whoever he could convince to slap a puck at him. He wouldn't quit until he was satisfied with the number of shots he had stopped...or his mother dragged him into the house and ripped the goalie pads off of him herself! He was the same with fitting cattle...he practiced and practiced until it was perfect every time.
Are you starting to see why I am a little worried for our kids?
Assuming perfectionism and competitiveness are inheritable traits...our kids are screwed!
They will either be little versions of the two of us, or they could be the complete opposite...I'm not sure what's worse!
All I know is both kids are already showing early warning signs of perfectionism. Miss M is only 4 and gets terribly disappointed in herself when she colours outside of the lines...which is almost never! Master C will be only 3 in a month and a half (where did the time go?) and he will spend HOURS riding his broomstick "horse" around the yard, practicing on an imaginary jump course. When he misses a jump, you can hear him reprimand himself and his "horse" and then they start all over again. Both kids showed calves in the peewee show at the fair this past year, and BOTH will tell you quite emphatically that they were the winner.
We laugh at their antics mostly...let's be honest, it's pretty fricken funny watching a little dude ride a stick around, neighing like a horse and galloping over whatever "jumps" have been set out. But, I am being honest when I say I also worry a little about what the future will bring in this department!
If they are anything like their parents, I foresee a lot of chats about winning and losing graciously, letting things go, just doing your best, not gloating, not pouting, having FUN doing the things they like to do and not always making things a competition. If they aren't like their parents...I have no idea...that's uncharted territory...I guess we'll cross that bridge if we get there!
Now that I am sort of an adult (real adults are old), I can admit that I need to be better at letting stuff go and having more fun myself. I can still strive for perfection, but if I come across an extra comma in an article I wrote...don't sweat it! Or, if my ball team finishes in last place...it happens. There is always next year. I hope that by trying to be a little less uptight in my own life, I will be able to have a little more fun and be better able to help my own kids keep their competitiveness and perfectionism in check...and possibly keep myself from morphing into that crazy-ass stage mom that I am destined to become if I don't chill!! So, here's to ONE, and not always having to be number ONE!
In honour of this being a post brought to you by the number ONE, I am going to proofread this post only ONE time. So, if you come across a typo, get over it...I did!
And remember...if you ain't first, you're last!
Until next time!
1/9/14 – equal
1/16/14 – arctic
1/23/14 – bottle
1/30/14 – ice cream
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The expert at anything was once a beginner - Helen Hayes
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