Kids Say the Darndest Things...

We all know the show. Bill Cosby (or in earlier times, Art Linkletter) would ask a little kid questions in hopes of getting a cute and/or funny response from them, after which the canned laugh-track would come on and everyone at home watching would laugh along.


Pretty much, we LIVE that show...everyday.


Miss M is a chatterbox. In fact, those that don't know her (i.e. grocery cashiers, store salespeople, restaurant waitstaff, the guy at the car dealership, etc.) always ask how old she is and are shocked when I tell them she is two.
 
Stranger: "Really?"


Me: "Really" (Actually she is 4, but I like to tell people she is only two...come on!)


Stranger: "Wow! She speaks so well and she must be quite tall is she?" (as they take in my 5'2"-ish frame)


Me: "Yeah she's a chatty one! And yes, she is quite tall...she doesn't get it from me" (in case you were wondering)


Miss M: "Mommy? Where's my daddy? Milking the cows?"


Me: "Yes, daddy's milking the cows."


Stranger: "Wow! She speaks so clearly! And she's only two?"


Me: "Haha yes, she is a chatterbox and yes, she's only two." (Really? Would you like to see her birth certificate?)


This conversation is pretty typical when we're out with Miss M. And I have to say, as much as it can be annoying to have people seem skeptical about the answer I give them regarding her age, I can't help but be pretty proud at her apparent intelligence! I mean really, how many two-year-olds can use the word "ridiculous" correctly in a sentence...no word of a lie. Honest.


We do however, try not to get to pumped up over how brilliant she is as we are very aware that the majority of her "big kid" vocabulary is stuff she hears and repeats...very parrot-esque really. Like calling her daddy by his first-name when she wants his attention..."Carm! Drink of water please?"


Her actions are also often a reflection of what she sees...like giving her stuffed cow a kick in the butt and telling it to "Come on cow! Get up!"...hmm apparently she has been spending a little too much time in the barn with daddy and uncle CK...


The best though is the stuff that she clearly hears places other than home and then out of the blue she just spouts it out...


Miss M: "Mommy?"


Me: "Yes, Maddie?"


Miss M: "I have a penis!"


Me: "Pardon...what did you say?" {Eyes bugging out of my head, choking on my water and trying not to laugh at the same time}


Miss M: "Maddie has a penis!" (Nope! I wasn't hearing things!)


Me: "Well, no...you don't. You are a girl and girls do not have penises."


End of discussion.


What the heck do you say to that? What two-year-old says that?? And where did she hear it??


So Carm came home a little later and I asked him if he had heard M's new word. He hadn't, so I asked her to tell daddy her new word...


Miss M: "I have a penis!"


(Carm's turn to choke and bug his eyes out)


Carm: "What did you just say?"


Miss M: "Maddie has a penis!"


Carm: "Maddie! No you do not! And don't say that word! It's bad!"


Me: "Well no, technically it's not a bad word...I'm more concerned that it's incorrect..."


Carm: "Well we can't have her running around saying she has a vagina!"


Me: "Well at least it would be correct...but I see your point..."


So we repeated that girls do not have penises and left it at that...so far we haven't had a repeat performance thankfully...


We have NO CLUE where on earth she learned that one...she has never asked about C and the one time she asked about our nephew, my sis-in-law told her it was a wiener. So it's a mystery...if anyone knows and would care to enlighten me, tat would be super!


Good lord, imagine trying to explain the birds and the bees to a two-year-old...I don't anticipate having any trouble with "the talk", but let's hope it doesn't have to happen for several years...like ten would be good!


But seriously, our kitchen could have been a scene out of Kindergarten Cop or something! "My mom says that my dad is a real sex machine!" Bahaha I should watch that movie again sometime...


Anywho, in other news, how about them gardens? Anyone who knows our place knows there is a ridiculous amount of flowerbeds and gardens...really, there are too many, and then a few more! The lady who owned the property originally lived to garden and was very good at it. On the opposite end of the spectrum, anyone who knows me knows that I hate gardening and quite frankly...suck at it!


Over the few years we have been here, we have cut down a little bit and have a bit more lawn, but there are still a lot of flower beds! Since my sister and her fiancé will be holding their wedding here later this summer, it was finally time to really dig in and sort out the jungles.


My original idea of clearing them out and filling them with rocks and shrubs apparently didn't fly...instead the big guns were called in...yep the Horticulture society arrived one rainy morning and toured through the gardens with my father-in-law marking over 45 different species of plants that we should keep...including one that they were pretty pumped about and suggested that we shouldn't let anyone know we have it or it will disappear in the night! Whoops! I guess I shouldn't have said anything....but jokes on any of you planning to raid the gardens...I have no idea what the plant was or where it is, so good luck! Haha


Anyways, so instead of clear cutting, we are tidying up and reshaping what is already there. I really am not a garden person, but even I have to admit that the work has been paying off for sure...it suddenly looks like we have have actual flowerbeds instead of out-of-control jungles threatening to eat anything that gets a little to close!


I shall have to post some photos once we are done.


Master C is doing well as well. He went for his four-month check-up last week and weighed in at a whopping 14lbs 11oz. He is exactly average for his weight, exactly average for his height...but he still has a big head...90th percentile actually! I might be biased, but he is a cute little dude. He is pretty chatty (really? Maddie's sibling? You don't say!) and giggly, and he is already trying to roll over! I am tempted to figure out a way for him NOT to roll over...rolling over leads to crawling and crawling leads to walking...I want him to stay immobile a little longer...Maddie is busy enough! Gah!


Well Maddie is telling me it's time for supper...well actually she wants the strawberries I cut up for dessert, but nonetheless, I should roll!


Until next time my lovelies!